for the past couple of days i have been looking back on the days that i was in the hospital in maine....something that keeps coming to my mind is the saviors atonement...in my life i have not always made the right choices. i have learned that part of the atonement and being able to be forgiven for the mistakes and such, having used that i have a huge testimony on that part of it. now as i look back to being in the hospital, i have finally remembered something that happened, one spiritural moment for us all...so i entered the hospital thursday and stayed until monday, on saturday it was the worse day we had in there. i was in so much pain that i could not even open my eyes. i could not move at all, my companion and i were freaking out. i started to have a really hard time breathing. my companion called the elders to come up to the hospital. they came with in the hour. things started  to go really downhill. they came and i was not even able to talk to them. they sang hyms and i fell asleep. that night our mission president and his wife came up and spent the night with us. the next day they brought the sacrament up to us, there shared something that they had learned at church, when it got to me to say something, all that came to my mind was the atonement, how when with all of the missionaries, the mission president and his wife, and members, i was feeling a burden lifted. i was feeling the affects of the atonment that i have never felt before, i was so weak, could barely move, but yet i felt so light. that is where i truly found and was able to feel that jesus christ had truly taken my burden, my pain and put it on his shoulders. what greater blessing to keep me smiling??

in times of trials we have to look for the reason of why we are supposed to go threw it. health wise i am about the same. i started phsyical threapy and it just about killed me. and we just did the evealutaion. my body is extremly weak and tired.... needless to say we are still not in the clear. we found out that there is a chance that we could have a relaps... and while yes i am doing better but still not progressing. so who knows where this will go but where i know is that this things stinks. i would not wish it upon my worst enimes...but there is something to be learned and when challenges in life come we must just keep going. even though i may take small steps and they may not be big i am still taking steps. small steps lead to great things. thats something that keeps my smile on.. how do you keep your smile on in the midst of a trial?